"My Sister Danielle"
A eulogy written by Ryan Derfler
So many people say they can't imagine how I must feel. So, I'm going to help.
First, you must understand that I'm expecting my sister to come down this center
isle any minute. And, if she doesn't, I'll just assume she overslept and I'll go to
her apartment later for lunch. Now that we've cleared that up, I'll tell you about
my sister.
Nobody in this world had more stories to tell. Any close friend of hers has
heard them all at least ten times and we would kid that if we had to hear
them again we would go crazy. I would do anything to hear one of those
stories right now.
My sister was truly beautiful. We used to tell people we were twins, and it
made me feel good that sometimes they believed us. I'll always remember
her placid blue eyes. I would do anything to see those eyes.
My sister was my protector. Nearly every girl I ever dated first passed her
approval. If she didn't agree with a situation, it somehow always ended up as
she had predicted it would. I often couldn't stand that she had such accurate
instinct. Who will protect me like this now? I would do anything to have her
tell me what to do.
My sister had so much life. She loved to work with children because she had
their energy. The last time I visited her apartment it was late at night. When I
arrived she sat on the floor coloring pictures for her kids. She told everyone
stories about her little students. She loved those kids.
My sister was the spice in our family and among her friends. She had such a
strong will. Her presence was enough alone to say ten-thousand words. My
mom says that Danielle was her free spirit, but I say she was mine too.
Danielle was a confidant. She always knew what was going on among our
extended family because she cared and talked to them all. Hundreds of times
we would sit in her room and talk about anything. More importantly, she was
my mom's best friend. They had a different kind of bond, one that only two
females could share. They would talk over lunch or on the phone when
Danielle was at school. I wish I could talk to her now, she was my best friend
too.
My sister was a friend to the world. Her advice was sound and well taken.
I remember my graduation gift she never got to finish, a Survivors Guide to
College. And, I recall so many mornings asking her if what I was wearing
looked "o.k." for school. I don't know who will tell me these things now.
Danielle was so much fun. Lots of my peers didn't understand how siblings
could be best friends also, but the way I saw it, I didn't understand how we
couldn't. The three of us hung out all the time, her new apartment served
as the perfect clubhouse. The club isn't the same without our leader.
Danielle was extremely creative. Recently she started painting. Furniture,
canvas, walls, nothing was untouched. She was going to plan my wedding
too. It would have been perfect. I'm not so sure it can be perfect now.
Where do we all go from here, I ask myself. What is God's reasoning
behind this? I come up empty so I made up my own explanation...
Each of us sails his own ship throughout life. Where our little vessels take
us is the will of God. A lighthouse stands tall above a collection of jagged
rocks. God is in charge of that lighthouse and he selects it's operators
with rigorous scrutiny. While most of us see God's light from the
lighthouse as a comforting safety, those whom he selects see Heaven. A
few days ago he chose my sister. She saw the peaceful light beckoning
from the lighthouse and followed it. Her journey was calm and now she
is without pain or worldly trouble. However, there are so many of us that
want to bring her back or at least be with her. But, we have not been
selected, so in our attempts to follow we struggle in the torturous rocks
that lie in the way. Until we realize that she has not left us, but has
instead been sent to help carry on the light we all know, we will suffer in
those rocks. So, I look to everyone here today and make this offer.
Turn away from the peril at the base of the lighthouse. Go back to your
boats and sail so that you can see the light. And, everyday when you
see it, from the sky, from the eyes of a loved one, or in the reflection on
a pond, know that my sister Danielle is behind it.
